Favorite First Year Memories of Nora

Note: It’s amazing when I find some writing or a momento from when the children were younger…so much has been stolen, including my Mom’s photo album with pictures when she was a child and of her sister and brother that passed away. So much has been stolen and what remains is a treasure, and I hope by posting this online to preserve a memory…and leave something to be remembered.

Favorite First Year Memories of Nora
By Lynn Mari:

* Nora reaches for a picture of Grandma N (affectionately called “Grandma Lemonade” because DP cannot say “Nadine”) off the dresser. This picture is one I was given when my Aunt Chrissie passed away, in it Grandma is so beautiful—her brown hair is styled in high curls that frame her face, she is wears a red silk blouse with a bow at the neck and her smile is radiant. I see so much of Grandma in Nora. Nora’s cheeks—high and round as opals, her fine brown hair, the dark curve of her lashes above her brown eyes speaks so strongly of traits passed down from Grandma’s side of the family, German immigrants who settled in New Ulm, Minnesota. Nora must recognize her family because she carries Grandma’s picture around the house, clutching Grandma’s smiling face to her chest. Nora refers to the picture of Grandma as the “baby” and often plays with it, wrapping it in blankets or hiding it in her “house” under the couch.

* Nora calls the slides at the playground the “wee!” Nora is not afraid to climb the tallest slide; the higher, the faster the slide the better.

* Nora climbs on Yaya’s back and tries to ride her like a horse. Yaya always tries to shake Nora off, with patient love, by standing up. Yaya stands carefullly, so that Nora slides off her spotted rear, squealing with delight then trying to climb back on. Yayaa gives a low groan, she will either let Nora climb back on or trot off when she has had enough.

* Nora loves to eat. After every bite, Nora sings “mhmmm! mhhmm!”. At Ryan’s buffet, Nora gobbled a heaping plate of food then crawled across the table to eat Mommy’s plate! When hungry, Nora will grab your hand and pull you to the kitchen to show she wants to eat.

* Nora loves “Bob the Builder”. Everytime Nora sees a construction truck; she yells, “Bob ah!” Watching “Bob the Builder” and playing with plastic tools, is something Nora learned from DP, who she shadows, sucking one thumb and twirling her hair with her free hand. One day, Nora dressed in DP’s “Bob ah!” suspenders, and looked so adorable.

* Don’t carry me! Nora is a baby on the move, and loves to run—not walk. She also climbs bookshelves, furniture, stairs—and is living up to her namesake, Sonora Carver. One of the scariest things I have seen Nora do is climb the black, metal headboard of the bed with the curly designs. Nora will get to the top, scream, then let go—launching herself backwards, Nora is flying through the air then plopping on the bed, tangled in covers and pillows with a grin the size of a crescent moon on her face.

* Nora’s first kiss is from Alix, the neighbor’s Golden Lab, who gave her a slurping doggie kiss all over her face. Yaya was a bit jealous.

* Gives BIG hugs! Nora will wrap her legs around your waist, squeeze then laugh as I tip her backwards, arms swinging in the air and hair falling free.

* No matter where I lay her down, Nora always gets up in the middle of the night to find “Mommy” and climbs into bed with me. She sprawls across the whole bed, kicking the pillows away. Nora does not nap, she is too busy playing during the day.

* Nora likes to play “Hide n’ Seek” with her toes. She curls them to hide and grins when she finds them, always in the same place.

Lynn Mari, “First Memories of Nora” ©2004

“St. Paul Garbage Barge” by DP, age 6

DP, Nora and I love to take walks and explore. This was taken on a summer walk along the St. Paul riverfront. DP asked to use my camera and snapped a picture of this barge with the Lafayette Bridge in the background, he later edited the picture using Adobe. I am excited to watch DP learn more about photography, and see what catches his eye!
Great work son

Marriage: Paul & Laura Ford, Perry County, AL

Perry County, Alabama Marriage Records (1820-1894)

Radford, Laura married Ford, Paul on 8-Feb-1878 (recorded on page)A p.132

Paul and Laura Ford resided in Perryville, Alabama. Paul Ford was a farmer.

His Eye is on the Sparrow – Traditional Spiritual

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me…“

Lessons from the Generations of My Family

“Authentic power is being fully engaged in the present moment. It is being creative without limitation. It is enjoying the company of all life. It is caring and being cared for. It is being aware of everything you are feeling, all of the time. It is living in joy… Authentic power is the human experience without the limitations of fear, self-doubt, and self-hatred.” – Gary Zukav and Linda Francis, “The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness”, p. 31-32.

What I learned from generations of strong women…

A Family Legacy of Love, Loss and Determination

Just as the memories fill my mind they evaporate into a numb sense of nothing. Then the CD begins to play and Blu Cantrell’s soulful voice fills my living room. “So Blu” starts out fast, the lyrics are sung in a combination of rap and jazz, it’s really unique how Blu Cantrell pulls this off so well. Again, I am called to remember. Only this time, several generations of women, from my family, offer their stories, their experiences. I am pulled into a circle of women–a shared experience of love, loss and the determination to move on.

“You see me at the bottom trying to get on top, You see me at the club, you know I used to rock, You see me crying tears, Lord, make ‘em stop, You see the sun shine but never on my block, You see I’m trying to grow, Let me get ahead….” My thoughts turn back to Grandma Dee. She was known to be a very beautiful woman who loved music, and loved to go dancing. I heard she had a dimple in one cheek (like DP, who is named for her). In many ways, the memory of Grandma Dee is protected by the family–as if her siblings are looking out for their little sister even though she has died long ago. An older uncle–the brother of Grandma Dee–told me that she always wanted to be a mother, to have a house of her own and a family to cook for. She had struggled early in life, the daughter of a cropper who was required to work from a young age and later left the farm to work in a coal mine near Birmingham. Shortly after Grandma Dee returned home, she met Grandpa Bud. Grandpa Bud was working in a sawmill. He was known to be very handsome, and quiet. I have heard that my grandparents were very passionately in love, that even when they fought there was always a special connection between them. Grandma Dee had to use her wits and sense of survival to make a life for her family in the midst of hardships that did not seem to ease. I reflected on Grandma Dee, at my age she would have three children and beginning her life as a married woman. She would have taken the last name of Ford, and all the ghosts that came with it. She would be dreaming of a future with Grandpa Bud, only to end in tragedy. I don’t know if Grandma Dee saw signs that something was not right, she died before I was born.

“I’m trying to find a man, Trying to find a ring, Trying to find someone that loves me more than their bling bling, Trying to be a wife, Trying to make a life, Trying to get in touch with my spirtual side, Trying to have your back….” I thought of Big Momma, the mother of Grandpa Bud. I did not know my family in Alabama until years after Big Momma had died. I have heard that Big Momma looked like she was an Indian, with two long braids curling down her shoulders and that she used to sing spirituals. When I searched census records for my family, another side of Big Momma’s life emerged. Big Momma was the only child of Sarah Jane Martin and Simon Robbins, born in the 1890’s. I was told that Big Momma’s parents died when she was young and that relatives raised her. There are few family stories to tell how Big Momma was raised, or what her life was like growing up. Big Momma fell in love with Pettus Ford when she was still a young girl. Pettus Ford is a mystery in my family–no one remembers him, and there are no records to prove he ever lived. Pettus Ford was mixed, his family came from Perry County, and he is said to have been a wanderer–going from place to place. Pettus Ford left Big Momma when she was pregnant, and would not raise the son that was born. Shortly after she gave birth, Big Momma was working the fields in order to provide for her new baby. Working the fields because you never got ahead as a cropper–you always owed somebody. Big Momma raised six children on her own, bought a house in the city on her own. Faith and determination saw her through. I always respected Big Momma for that–her spirit, her determination, her faith provided a well of strength to draw from.

“You see me hustlin’ for every cent I got, You see I never sleep until I reach the top, You see I can’t slow down because you know it’s real, You see I can’t stop here, I gotta make a mil, I’m fitna be a woman that stands the test of time, Ain’t afraid to say I’m fitna blow ya mind …” Then my thoughts turn to my Aunt Lettie, the daughter of Big Momma. When I was young, I was always told the story of how my father grew up in a very poor family, raised by an uncle who had children of his own to care for then adopted eight more children after his sister, Grandma Dee, died at a young age. I was told that every Christmas, the children were given the gift of an orange. The orange was a special treat that came only at Christmas–it was looked forward to every year. This was the earliest memory I had of the Fords. I later learned that Aunt Lettie sent a crate of oranges to the children every year at Christmas. Even though Aunt Lettie lived far away, and after the death of her brother would not see the children very often, she never forgot them. In fact, Aunt Lettie offered to raise the Ford children after the death of their parents. Though a generous offer, things just didn’t work that way. Aunt Lettie was a woman who cared for others, even if she didn’t receive the same kind of love back. Through Aunt Lettie, Nile was introduced to older relatives, and various branches of our family. Through Aunt Lettie, stories about our family were passed down to Nile. From Auntie Lettie, a seed was planted in Nile to question her history and seek the stories of our family. I felt a similar calling. So much of Aunt Lettie is within my family research, and the memories I now gather. I am so grateful for her.

Letting Go of a Life That Never Was

Less than twenty-four hours after hearing “So Blu” and thinking of my family history, my life would forever change. Indeed, I had been given a sign. The women of my family had warned me–women who recognized the signs early on, and imparted their own memories to strengthen me for the challenges I was to face.

I am moving on with my life, choosing to stay positive. In staying positive, I acknowledge the blessings and lessons that have given me strength and tools to use during this time of challenge. I am blessed to be a daughter of a lineage of such strong, determined, beautiful and spiritual women. Women whose ability to love was not diminished by loss. Women who raised their children by the Bible. Women who took on the work of a man to provide for the family, to build a better future for the next generations. Women of deep faith in God, who, despite all challenges, impressed a sense of hope and possibility in their children that was passed down to the next generations. I am blessed to be a daughter of such a lineage of women whose love, tragedy, sacrifice and effort have shaped my own life in a positive direction. So blessed that my family research has come alive in my life–as being more than a piece of paper or a photo, but become a part of who I am as a woman, as a mother, as a spark of creativity and change in this world. In the midst of my struggles and loss, I am supported by these women.

Lynn Mari, © May 2006

For More Information:

Black Families of Alabama’s Black Belt: http://www.prairiebluff.com/blackbelt/

Blu Cantrell, So Blu: 2001. Blu Cantrell is a R&B/Soul musician. In 2001, So Blu was certified gold. The songs on So Blu deal with love, heartache, revenge and hope. The video for “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Ooops!) is hilarious. In the video, when Blu catches her boyfriend cheating she decided to break his heart, and the bank with his credit card. Songs on this CD also include: Hit ‘Em Up Style (Ooops!), So Blu and The One.

Blu Cantrell Lyrics
http://www.lyricsdomain.com/2/blu_cantrell/

Growing Beyond Emotional Abuse-Resources for Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse
http://www.webheights.net/GrowingbeyondEmotionalAbuse/

Symptoms of Emotional Abuse
http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/

The Underclass Debate: Views from History. Edited by Michael B. Katz. Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1992

Zukav, Gary and Francis, Linda. The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness. New York, New York: FIRESIDE, 2002.
Website: Seat of the Soul http://zukav.com/

Remember Our Children

“The value of one soul is greater than any single thing upon this earth. For there can be nothing greater than raising a child in preparation for the journey back to where he came from, a place where his immortal Father lives, a place known as heaven, a place called home.” ~ Richard Pelzer.

I chose this verse for Nora’s Dedication on July 17, 2005. After we fled our home, I found the copy of this verse (that I had written down) thrown in the garbage bin. I don’t know what compelled me to look in the garbage, but the bin was so large that I was leaning into the bin, both legs off the ground, when I found this verse. I believe that when you dedicate your life to God, He will be there for you–through everything. Finding this verse was a reminder of that.

Lynn Mari, ©2007

Martin Families in the 1900 Census—Summerfield, Alabama

Jim Martin b. July 1872, farmer
married
Lucy Martin b. May 1880
children:
Frank b. Nov(?) 1896
Hubbard b. August 1898
Jordan b. July 1889

Next to

Julia Martin b. May 1882

Note: Julia Martin is my aunt. I believe her parents are Jordan and Jane (affectionately known as “Judge”) Martin. Julia Martin later married William Phillips and had a daughter named Sarah. Julia had a sister named Bama (I have not been able to find Bama in any of the records…it is possible that Bama is a nickname, and the name she was born with is Agnes?). Bama married a man with the last name of Dock and had a daughter named Jane. I am also related to a Luke Martin and a Jim (Martin or Green).
_______________________

Emanuel Martin (African-American family, father is from Alabama, farmer)
married
Laura Martin (father is from North Carolina)
children:
George Ann b. 1873
Mary
Mack b. 1874
Nannie b. 1876
Robert Lee b. 1878

Next to:

Jordan Martin b. 1846 (African-American family, father is from North Carolina, mother is from Virginia, farmer)
married
Jane (affectionately named “Judge”) Martin b. 1850 (both parents born in Virginia)
children:
Willie b. 1868
Sarah Jane b. 1871
James b. 1873
Agnes b. 1875

Note: Sarah Jane is the mother of my great-grandmother. She married Simon Robbins, a neighbor, and had a daughter named Mary Ella (also called “Mel”). My Martin relatives are buried at Wayman’s Chapel (near Four Mile Branch) and Elmwood Cemetery (Selma). Jordan Martin’s family and Emanuel Martin’s family are recorded as living close to each other in the 1880 census as well.

Henry Martin b. 1797 (Euro-American family, father born in North Carolina, farmer)
married
Amanda Martin b. 1832 (father from Alabama, father is from Kentucky)

William Martin b. 1843 (African-American family, father born in South Carolina, farmer)
married
Dosia Martin b. 1850

Bob Martin b. 1825 (African-American family, father from Virginia)
married
Rachel Martin b. 1835 (father from Virginia)
children:
Archie b. 1862
Mary b. 1866
Jimmie b. 1869
Bella b. 1874

Joe Martin b. 1835 (African-American family, father from South Carolina)
married:
Caroline Eaves Martin b. 1835 (both parents from South Carolina)
Mother of Caroline Martin is Lucy Eaves (both parents from South Carolina)